Sunday, 25 September 2011

How to run away from bears....

Over the past two weeks, I have largely been based in the Southern Indian state of Kerala. This is a state most famous for its stunning backwaters and its prosperity (photo purely to make you all jealous...).
















However, what is less remarked upon are the social problems that this can create. Despite being the richest state in India, with the highest literacy rate, it also has the highest suicide rate as well as abundant alcohol problems. With sudden growth comes great (Western-style) expectations and pressure and the knock on social effects.

I begin on a serious note, but you know me too well to know that this can't, and indeed won't, last. We were in a small village the other night when a few of us fancied a beer, but none was available throughout the town. However, as we inquired at our seventh different eatery as to the availability of alcohol, we were told to sit down. We were perplexed, but played along. We each ordered a beer and were therefore surprised to see the waiter bring everyone a pot of tea and a mug. Being British and therefore to a cuppa, I saw this as a happy second choice, but nothing more. Of course (the brighter amongst you saw where this was going a mile off) inside this mug and teapot lay our premium amber nectar. Apparently this is the custom in every restaurant in the town as no place can afford licenses. But, we later found out, that everyone knows about this little trick. Apart from local PC Plod?! (blog / thesis on corruption in India to follow perhaps.) For those who are wondering, I don't have a ginger moustache, but rather a coiffured ginger beard. This photo is merely a trick of the light.
















I have also seen two of my favourite signs ever. As a connoisseur of signs, this is quite a claim. Firstly this:
















On the door of a coffee shop. After having my Indian mocha and large piece of chocolate cake (or naan, to be more Indian), I do not having to worry about my weight, as I will pull the door to exit. An ingenious weight-loss mechanism.

My second and even more enjoyed sign is this from Mysore Zoo.

















Man who wears a bowler hat to the zoo watches as his friend falls into bear cage. As his friend plunges, he quickly replaces his bowler hat with a baguette. The reasoning for this is not explained. Possibly in order to find a feather to put in his hat, which appears in the next picture. Meanwhile his unfortunate pal is getting mauled by a bear, whilst he watches on. But don't worry, with blood streaming down him, he manages to run away. And even more fortunately for him, an attendant, who only walks Egyptian-style, is on hand to help him cross the road. I'd love to hear what the audio guide had to say about this developing saga.

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